Split Me
by Caithrine Glidewell
Summary: "Did you want the pain? The way you crave the feeling of the skin splitting on your wrist?"Based on clip of Tate shirtless in 1x08 promo. "You really are here." RATED M Chapter 7 UP!
1. Splitting Skin

Violet sat in front of the vanity in her room, fingering a clean new silver blade. She could almost see her reflection in the side, and she was lost in it.

"Violet," I snapped, she looked at me, startled. She didn't know I was there, "You promised you wouldn't do that again," I reproved, walking over and taking the blade from her.

"I-I'm not," she stuttered, "I just-"

"You thought about it," It wasn't a question. I shoved the blade deep into the pocket of my jeans.

"But I wasn't going to do it," She snapped back.

I sighed and crouched down in front of her chair which she'd now spun around to face me, and took her hand in between mine, "I'm just afraid Vi. After the pills… I can't be too careful."

She rolled her eyes. Typical, "I wasn't trying to kill myself-"

"But you could have Vi! Do you get that? If I hadn't been there you could have died! And every time you cut," I shook my head, "I know how it feels Violet. When you get in too deep. You get lost in the blood. You drown in it. There's a chance you won't stop."

I looked up to meet her eyes. She didn't say anything, just had that half surprised, half lost look in her eyes that she'd had the last time I caught her cutting.

I looked down. I knew broaching this subject wasn't the best idea, but I had to agree with Dr. Harmon. I didn't want to lose her. "You know, you're dad's worried about you too."

Violet scoffed, standing up hastily, pulling her hand from mine, "Don't tell me you're listening to his bullshit. I thought you were the one who was getting help, not my dad."

I stood up too and came up behind her as she ruffled her hair in frustration, "I get it Vi, parents suck! But I would kill to have a dad like yours. A dad that actually cares! Your dad is the closest thing to a father I've ever had! He's the reason I'm _better_, and you take him for granted!"

"Why are you standing up for him!" She shouted at me, throwing her arm out in the general direction of Dr. Harmon's office, "He's a cheating, lying asshole. I thought you understood that. What happened to 'If you love someone you should never hurt them'? He's the _reason_ I cut, Tate!"

I quieted down, shoving my hands in my pockets. I could feel the sharp edge of the blade grazing my fingertips. "I'm not defending him Vi. I'm just saying, you're lucky. Some of us never had that."

Violet was quiet again and I could tell from the feeling in the air that she felt bad. Then I felt her hand on my cheek, "I'm sorry. There's just so much shit going on… I must seem like such a whiny bitch."

"No, no," I rushed to assure her, looking up and capturing her hand on my cheek, "You could never be a bitch," she laughed, shaking her head, "I'm serious. Sure you're harsh, and you don't take crap, and you hate the world, but don't we all some days? The world is a messed up place, Vi. It's a god damn fucking horror show. Sometimes we just need someone to keep us grounded. You keep me grounded Vi."

I lowered my lips slowly to hers until they brushed ever so softly, just a warm whisper. But quickly Violet had my lower lip between her teeth. I laughed silently at the feeling of them dragging across my soft flesh. I leaned over her just a bit, holding her still by her hips between my calloused hands. As she pushed forward trying to take control of my lips, a slid my hands up to her waist and pressed my thumbs into the soft spot there that made her squirm. She yelped as I tickled her and I used the distraction to push her back against her bedside table.

My lips crashed against hers again, taking control. She shoved her hands into the front pockets of my jeans, using them to pull me against her. She shoved her hands in deeper, then winced, pulling one out quickly. I pulled back looking at her. The tip of her finger was soaked with blood. She'd cut herself on the blade in my pocket.

I took her hand and stuck the finger in my mouth, sucking off the blood. She didn't pull away repulsed the way she had before. As my lips left her finger with a pop our eyes met. She stroked my cheek with her cut finger. It was still bleeding and I could feel the hot liquid painted on my cheek. I kissed her again, and her hands ran through my hair, inevitably streaking the blond with red. By now she was putty in my hands. It never took much time. She reacted exactly as she had in all of my fantasies. Just exactly as I had described it to Dr. Harmon.

_"They get wet _so_ easily…" _

I slid one hand up her side to sweep her hair from her shoulder. My chapped lips found their way from the corner of her soft mouth to the soft skin that delved between her collar bone and the soft curve of her neck. Violet sighed softly, her warm breath rustling my disorderly curls. For a second, I took my lips from her skin and traced the delicate line of her collar bone with the tip of my nose.

"Don't be a tease," she whispered, "You're smarter than that."

I chuckled and she jumped at the erratic rhythm of by breath on her skin. I stood up again, a good half foot taller than her and gave a taunting look into her eyes. Hands on her hips I turned her so her back was to the bed and lowered her slowly.

_Just like in the dreams…_

I kissed slowly down her neck to the buttons of her denim dress. I unbuttoned each one slowly, placing a kiss in the open space it left.

I heard her breath catch and her hands were against my chest, "Tate," I met her eyes, she looked scared, "Don't be cruel."

I knew she was thinking of Halloween night on the beach. I knew how rejected she looked. I didn't want to see that in her eyes again. I leaned down next to her ear and whispered softly, sliding my hand up under her dress, "I'm not stopping tonight."

I was done hesitating. I pulled hard on her dress and heard the snaps of the little buttons breaking. For a second I thought maybe I could make her scared, maybe for once I could strike fear into the eyes of Violet Harmon.

I chuckled darkly, "You want to know what I'm going to do to you? The stories I tell your father in our sessions. How I lay you down on the bed, caress your soft skin…" I slid the back of my hand slowly over her breast. The skin was even softer than I'd imagined, so smooth, so supple, I wanted to sink my teeth into that flesh and watch it bleed like I had her wrist. She groaned as I dug my nails into that tender flesh without noticing, "How I make you purr like a little kitten."

"Tate…" Her eyes were closed now, and her voice sounded pained, but it was a pain I knew, when she ached for me. The pain in her voice that night on the beach.

"How I want to lower my lips down to your perky nipples and scrape my teeth along the flesh. How I want to bite into the underside and make you bleed," I was hovering just over her pink little nipple. I could feel the humidity of my breath saturating her skin.

"_Tate_," She growled now and I looked up to meet her eyes, "Just show me."

I would happily oblige. I gave her a sinister grin before wrapping my lips around that nipple. The flesh felt even softer against my lips then it had against my hand. It was becoming firm under my ministrations and I opened my mouth wider, scraping my teeth across the skin to bite the peak between my teeth. I could feel her body straining beneath me.

I thought that I should pay as much attention to her other breast, but I was growing impatient as I felt my dick begin to scratch against the rough fibers of my pants. I moved my lips down onto her stomach, going lower, lower. I could feel the rise and fall of her uneven breath against my lips. The life that I could take so easily, but that wasn't on my mind now. I wanted to make her scream for an entirely different reason.

I swirled my tongue in her belly button. She tasted good. Like the organic spiced pear body wash her mother bought that I was fairly certain was edible. I moved to her right hip, nestling my nose there for a second, just smelling her skin and the faint smell of her arousal. I could imagine. Soon it would be so strong, her room would be saturated in it, I would be saturated in it.

I opened my mouth and bit hard. She yelped and fisted my shirt in her hands. It pulled up exposing the lower part of my stomach. I bit harder, slowly sinking my teeth deeper, deeper. Not deep enough to break skin, but enough to bruise.

I pulled away, looking with satisfaction at my mark on her, more personal than a hicky. _It was my mark. _

She pulled me up by my shirt, pulling it over my head and throwing it aside. She tried to pull me back to her lips but I wouldn't let her. I stayed above her, our bodies so close the thin layer of air between them was palpable, but we did not touch. I ran my finger slowly, softly down her stomach to the edge of her panty hos. I traced the line on her waist until her breathing became deeper, heavier. I pulled on the waistband and slowly rolled the tights down her legs, throwing them off the bed when I was done.

Now I kissed her, reaching down to palm her mound through her cotton panties. I could feel it swollen and wet through the fabric, "Fuck Violet," As I whispered in her ear, I pressed my middle finger near her hole through the fabric.

She was trying to hide it, but she was strung out. I was torturing her. I traced that same finger along the waistband of her panties, "Vi, I don't know… Your parents are home."

I could feel her tense under me. Her hand reached up on gripped my jaw so tight it hurt, but it was a good pain, "Fuck you," then she threw my face away, attempting to roll out from under me, but I trapped her there, my knee digging into her thigh as I dipped my hand beneath her panties and slid a finger deep between her folds. I could feel her wetness bleed between my fingers, so fucking hot.

She gasped. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I told you I wasn't stopping," With that, I thrust my middle finger deep inside her. Her back arched her stomach pressing against my chest. "You're mine, Violet. No one will fuck you like I will." I pulled my finger out sliding it up to tease her clit before shoving it back inside her, knuckle deep. I slammed it into her again and again.

"Tate," I could see the tears fighting in the corner of her eyes, the pain in her voice.

"Does it hurt, Vi? Like when you feel the blade slicing your skin? Am I tearing you?" I shoved in deep to her one last time, holding it in deep, and curling my finger, nail scraping inside of her. She gasped, and I could feel her beginning to contract around my finger. Damn she was so tight, just around that. But I pulled out before she could ride any high.

That's when I saw a tear roll down her cheek, "Tate, please."

"Please what?" I demanded.

"No more torture, Tate please…"

"Tell me what you want, Vi."

She wrapped her hand around the back of my neck and pulled me roughly down to look in her eyes, "Fuck. Me."

With that I unbuckled my pants, shoving them off, then roughly tearing her panties which I had also become impatient with. I wrapped my hand around my cock for a moment as I stared down at her bright red pussy. There was already a little blood on the edges of her folds.

I gripped underneath her knees, pulling them wide. God her hole was so small. I pulled up her knees so they were against my chest, teasing that sweet little spot with the tip of my dick, "There's no going back, Vi." I didn't give her a chance to say anything. I slammed into her so hard there was a loud slap. Then she screamed, her back arching, sheets balled in her fists, pain written on her face.

"Are you scared now?" I asked her, sliding back slowly. She was still trying to control her breath again. I slammed in again, and she winced, "Tell me," I repeated the action, pulling out slow and slamming in hard. Fuck she was so tight, "Tell me, Vi!" I pulled her legs wider and slammed in, burying myself as deep as I could in her tight heat.

"Fuck Tate!" She screamed, head thrown back against the pillow.

"That's not an answer," I told her, going faster. Pulling out, slamming in, again, again, "Are you scared Vi? Tell me!" each word was punctuated by a thrust.

Her breath caught again and again. I rolled my hips into her hard, the slap of thighs against thighs echoed through the room.

"Fuck- No, NO!" I chuckled. I was trying to stay strong, in control, but damn she was so tight. So hot it almost burned. I sped up.

"That's what I thought. You want my dick in you. You like it rough. You've wanted this since that night on the beach. You want me to tear you apart," I threw my head back. It was so intense.

"God, keep…. Keep talking… Tate! Fu-" She couldn't even finish her sentence as I picked up my pace.

"I've seen you shove your fingers in this tight pussy. When you come home from school, and I'm in a session with your dad. I've heard you cum. You're so wet. Is this what you think about? Did you know I would be so big?" God my own words were driving me crazy. I was so fucking close. Her tight pussy would squeeze it out of me.

"Yes yes! God YES." She screamed, squeezing my torso between her thighs. She was contracting, impossibly tight, she was close.

"Cum for me, Vi. She me how you cum when you think of me," With that an earsplitting scream filled the room and she threw her body up against mine, squeezing everything so tight, her thighs, her ass, her sweet pussy, trapping me in her as I exploded.

He lay in my bed under the soft gold light of my bedside lamp, my comforter tucked around his bare waist as he rested his head in his hand. I sat with my back against the headboard as I played with my fingertips. I'd pulled on a pair of soft brown yoga pants and a light sage silk tank top. I hadn't spoken a word since I'd climbed back onto the bed.

"What are you thinking, Vi?" I felt Tate's fingertips graze my arm ever so gently. So soft, so warm, so _real. _How could something so _real_ be a ghost?

"You really are here," I said absent mindedly, reaching to brush his chin with my hand.

He looked confused, "Of course. I'll always be here." His hand wrapped lightly around my arm that was resting on the bed, stroking softly up and down my forearm. So _real_.

"Tate…" I looked down at my hand where it had dropped onto the comforter and watched Tate take his other hand from his temple and play with my fingers, "Why do you love me?"

He looked up at me, surprise in his clear eyes, "Why would you ask such a thing?"

"Just tell me, please," I pleaded, looking self-consciously at where my top rode up to expose the skin on my hip, the mark there.

Tate hesitated, but after a second started talking, tucking away one of my fingers into my palm with each thing he listed, "I love you because your strong. Stronger than I am. And you're beautiful. And you're not afraid of anything. You're not afraid of me, no matter what I do, you're never scared. And because you listen to Kurt Cobain," He smiled, stroking his fingertip along my last extended finger, "and because you hate normal, perfect. You see the world the fucked up way it is."

My hand was closed now, tucked inside his, and he brought my other hand to wrap it around my fist and tuck both in the warm circle of his.

"Why'd you ask?" He inquired nonchalantly as he pressed a kiss to the ball of our joined hands.

"I don't know…"

**Please Review! 15 Reviews if you want me to continue**

_Please don't mention grammar errors in reviews. It drives me crazy. And i wrote this while i was sitting in class with a hot guy reading over my shoulder as I wrote the sex scene and blushing the whole time. It was distracting._


	2. Salvation

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Just FYI, for style choice reasons I will not point out changes in point of view. I feel it disrupts the continuity and reality of the story's catharsis.**

I didn't expect Tate to be there when I woke. I expected him to do his random disappearing act. He was a ghost after all, wasn't he?

But when I rolled over, my arm brushed something smooth and warm. I opened my eyes to see that Tate was still there, exactly the way I'd left him, untouched and perfect as a god. Could that be what Tate was, some sort of god? The image of physical perfection, the ability to strike fear into my fearless heart… He'd played god with other's lives. I heard hw he'd explained his fantasies to my dad. He was taking them somewhere clean. He killed because he felt they deserved something better.

Maybe Tate wasn't a god, but he played one. He was my salvation.

I stroked my finger down his shard law line in my absent minded thought and his eyes opened subtly. I felt a smile grace my lips. Smiling always felt strange; it wasn't something I was accustomed to, but with Tate around it was natural, almost inherent.

He smiled too, placing his hand over mine, "You look awful." My smile dropped. Leave it to him to an ass at such a perfect moment. I pulled my hand back and slapped him. He laughed. The _asshole_, "Come on, Vi. You have to be sore. That was," he stopped to clear his throat but it sounded more like he was trying not to laugh, "rough."

I scoffed and rolled over, pulling open the drawer to my bedside table, I grabbed my pack of cigarettes. As I sat up, a pain twinged below my stomach. I bit down on the filter of my cig to hide my wince. I wasn't going to fuel his ego by letting him now he'd done just what he'd wanted. Tore me apart from the inside out.

I flicked my lighter and set embers to the end of the cigarette. I took a long drag, the smoke filling my mouth, thick and calming, the nicotine sinking into my blood. I blew it out slowly, closing my eyes, trying to control the ache becoming apparent in my lower body.

Tate's hands crept up, sliding along my arms, wrapping around me the way they had that night on the beach, "God that was so much better than I'd imagined, Vi. I never had any idea how good it would feel to be_ inside_ someone. And god, Vi, you have no idea how_ tight_-"

I scoffed, puffing out the smoke in my mouth, "Don't talk about last night like it was your first time," I leaned over to tap the ashes of my cigarette into a small make shift ash tray on my night stand.

Tate moved his hand to my shoulder, leaning around it so he could see my face. I didn't understand why I was so pissed at the moment, but I really wanted to smack that look of hurt surprise off his face.

"It was, Violet. Don't you remember? What I told you that night on the beach? That's never happened for me, with a girl. You're the one, Vi," Tate reached the hand on my shoulder up to sweep aside my hair. Suddenly I was lost in his eyes. I didn't know what to do with them, with that clear childlike emotion.

So I kissed him, just gently. At first he didn't kiss me back, but I felt like I needed him to; like if he did, I could believe that I was the only girl he'd shared a bed with, the only one he'd abused so roughly for someone's pleasure other than his own.

Then his lips moved against mine, rough and chapped just like always, taking my upper lip between his and sucking it till the skin was pulled taught. I tried to roll over onto my knees to get out of this uncomfortable twit position, but as soon as I turned my hip I felt as if all the muscles in my pelvic area were tearing to shreds instantly. I yelped, gripping Tate's shoulders and burying my head in the curve of his neck.

Tate's body went stiff and his arms rubbed gently on my back as I tried to even out my breath. Fuck this pain. Fuck the fact that things couldn't just be perfect, that my body had to betray, bliss only a momentary cover up for the hells worth of pain earned for losing your last virtue.

"I knew you were hurt. There's a lot of blood, Vi."

I looked over his shoulder at the sheets beneath us. They were a dark sickly brown, caked with a thick powdery crust in splotches across the purple, "Is that all mine?"

There was something in her voice then I hadn't heard before. I didn't like that way she sounded small, like a child. Like a normal child, one who should fear blood. "Violet, I'm sorry," I mumbled into her hair. I hated it, but I could feel tears seeping into my eyes. _Damn it_. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. It was supposed to be equal. It wasn't supposed to hurt. I promised I would never let anything hurt her. But I'd known it would. Last night it was the price I'd been willing to pay for my own selfish fantasies.

This morning, here with Violet in my arms, pain tearing through her, I _hated_ myself for it.

I pushed her back, putting on a hard face, "Vi, I have to go."

"What? Tate, no-" She protested.

"No," I snapped harshly, harsher than I'd meant, but I didn't care, "You have school anyways. I'll see you tonight. After my session."

I could feel the heat rising, the anger. The anger I didn't even fucking understand. The anger that sometimes lead to the visions. When it wasn't the fear. I was out of the bed, clothes on, and in the attic before I could remember how I'd gotten there.

I gripped my fists in my hair pulling hard, but the voices stayed, all talking at once, whispering things in my ears.

"Tate, Tate, the blood, so pure, so clean. Your cleaning this world, Tate. They'll be somewhere kinder. Tate, you have to save them, Tate. Clean them. The blood. The blood holds the bad spirits. Set them free, Tate. The blood will set you free…"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I pulled myself out of the bed carefully an hour or so later when I could convince myself that I wasn't literally going to rip in half when I moved. Tate had been there one second and then he was gone, his clothes were gone, no traces. Every part of last night had felt so real, but the way Tate had just disappeared made me second guess myself again.

But this was real. This pain between my thighs. God if it got any fucking more real I would have to just fucking shoot myself. I pulled on a robe and managed to get to the top of the stairs. When I reached them I looked at them with fret. There was no way in fucking burning hell I was going to make it down those stairs. I just stared at them, clenching tight to the handrail so I would just fall over.

"Violet?" I heard my mother's groggy voice from behind me and looked over my shoulder. She was standing there in her green robe looking half awake, "Why are you just standing there? Why aren't you dressed?"

I wanted to give her some snide comment, but suddenly I felt so empty; like underneath the pain all there was was an empty shell.

"Mommy," my voice sounded just as broken and terrified as it had the morning I found out about Tate, "Mommy, it hurts."

She looked confused. And worried, "Violet, I don't understand. What hurts?"

I tried to say something else to her, I wasn't sure what. Nothing came out, no words, no whimpers, no breath. I just started falling. I couldn't hold myself up with my thighs trembling like this anymore, so I just fell. It felt blissful, to just be weightless for a second, lost in the sensation of falling. It was peaceful.

Then I was in my mother's arms with a 'whouf' as I fell against her chest, "Whoa, Violet. Let's get you back to bed."

It quickly became apparent to both of us that I wasn't walking back to my room. The whole experience felt so strange from the moment I started falling. I wasn't in my body. I mean I was, but I felt like I was watching from some weird, off, first person point of view. Like in movies when they moved the camera around side to side, bopping up and down lightly to make it seem like the viewer is supposed to be looking through the character's eyes. But you're not. The camera movements are just awkward and lame.

I lay down in bed and pulled my comforter tight around me. The last thing I remembered was my mother saying something about staying home from school. Fuck, I had a chemistry test…

"So you're not worried about taking the meds anymore?" Dr. Harmon asked me in his overly professional 'psychiatrist voice'.

I had come to accept that there were two types of Dr. Harmon around me. This one: The Psychiatrist. Always about feeling, was I taking my meds, the visions. Always asking questions, trying to make me better. I guess I couldn't say it wasn't working.

Then there was the other one: Ben, The Father. Always worried about his daughter. The one he didn't want me to be with, yet at the same time knew that I was his only connection left to her, that there was something in _me_ that was inherently good for her.

But right now he was The Psychiatrist, and I was Patient Tate, "Nope. I guess I had nothing to worry about. And truth is, they've helped a lot Dr. Harmon."

His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. He knew it was bullshit. I'd fed him the same lines the last session. Then they had been true.

"There's something you're not telling me Tate. Is it about," Dr. Harmon looked at the tape recorder, clearing his throat before looking at me again, "about her? The girl you think about?"

I looked down at my hands, playing with a hangnail. I didn't know if I should tell him about the voices from this morning. I _had_ been taking the medication. And it had been working, but it wasn't anymore. _Why didn't they fucking work?_

"I heard the voices again this morning," I told him. There, it was out. I clenched my jaw and swallowed. I didn't want to have to through all of this again; all of the fear and the analyzing. I wanted to go upstairs and apologize to Violet. I wanted to take her a cup of tea and see if she was feeling better.

"And what did they tell you?" Dr. Harmon asked it as if it was the most normal question in the world, like I wasn't crazy, just as if some kids at school had said something stupid.

"They talked about the Indians," I told him, "About that story I told you, about how they'd cut themselves to let out bad spirits? They told me that blood was pure. That it could send me somewhere clean. That it could save me."

I thought of all the blood on Violet's sheets. How could that save me? It was go messy and disgusting. How was it supposed to help me make the world a _cleaner_ place?

"And do you believe them?" His voice could be so monotone. I wanted to hear the tone in his voice when he talked about Violet. It reminded me of myself. It made me think that maybe there was salvation for me out there.

"No."

"And why not?"

"Because I've found my salvation," I looked up at him, my elbows balanced on my knees, fingers intertwined.

"In what Tate?" Dr. Harmon tilted his chin up in the faintest sign of interest.

"In Violet…"

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	3. Fresh Blood

I couldn't tell what time it was when I woke up. The curtains were drawn and my bedside lamp was on but I figured it couldn't be late enough to be dark.

I sat up cautiously, expecting the pain to shoot through my core again, but there was nothing. A little stiffness in the muscles but no more pain. I moved again, wiggling my hips. Nothing. How could so much pain just disappear?

I shook my head letting out a deep breath. I was starving. As far as I knew I hadn't eaten anything all day.

When had Mom changed my sheets? The purple bloodies ones were gone, replaced with clean cream ones. Damn it. My mom would ask about the blood later. I had no idea what in hell I would tell her. I had a feeling "I wild, rough sex with my questionably dead boyfriend" wouldn't go over so well. Although I questioned whether the shock value of a statement like that would be worth it.

Dr. Harmon leaned forward, taking the tape recorder from the coffee table and flicking it off.

"What are you talking about Tate?"

He was The Father now, protecting his little girl. I didn't want to piss him off. I needed him to know that I wanted what he wanted for her: to be safe.

"You know she talks to me. You said that Dr. Harmon. I just… I don't know what I'd do if she didn't. Honestly, I think she has as much to do with me getting better as the meds do," I wasn't sure how he'd react, but I kept my head down. It was strange, but I feared Dr. Harmon at that moment. He was the one thing that could take her away from me.

"What exactly is going on between you and my daughter, Tate?" I looked up just barely through the shaggy blond curls that had fallen into my vision. He sat the same way I did, elbows on knees, leaning forward. His eyes were intent on my slouched form.

"We've been seeing each other."

"Dating."

"Yes," I knew this was the answer he was afraid of. I scared him. But I felt that after our last session he might realize that he needed me, that Violet needed me.

"How long?" something had changed in his voice. It was softer, almost like he'd realized he had to accept something that had been in front of him the whole time.

I didn't quite know how to pinpoint it. Vi and I had never flat out said 'We're dating now'. Its had just happened. I bobbled my head from side to side, trying to approximate it, "Halloween," it sounded like I was asking a question.

Dr. Harmon didn't say anything right away. I picked my head up to look at him. He had is face in his hands and he was dragging them down its length with an exasperated sigh, "Tate-"

I didn't let him get out a word, "Dr. Harmon, I swear, I'm taking good care of your daughter. She means the world to me. I'm always checking in to make sure she's okay. And I got her to stop cutting," I offered up, extending a hand to him, "I promise Dr. Harmon, I would never let anybody or anything hurt her."

He had a resigned look on his face, but I was still holding my breath.

"Tate, I will make you a deal. You can keep seeing Violet, but I _can not_ treat you anymore," I bowed my head, clenching my jaw. I felt tears coming into my eyes. I needed these sessions. I needed him so that in the times when I lost myself in Violet, times like last night, I wouldn't give over to the voices. "Tate, listen to me," I forced myself to look at him, "I can't see you anymore, _as a patient_. Which means I won't be able to prescribe you anymore medications. You can stay on what your taking now, but if you need anything else, you are going to have to get it from a different doctor. " I nodded, trying to swallow back the tears and force myself to listen. "I will still be here as a parent if you need help. I want you to be able to talk to me Tate, as… your girlfriend's father. If you need help, or if Violet," he choked up for a second, "I'm still here if you need help. Our session is over for today, I'll call your mother to tell her she doesn't need to send another check."

I nodded, a different kind of tears leaking into my eyes, "Thank you Dr. Harmon. May I… go see her. Take her a cup of tea or something. She wasn't doing well when I left this morning."

"What were you doing here this morning?"

I gave him an embarrassed look, "I… like to watch her sleep, to make sure she's okay. I promise I'm not doing any weird shit. She always knows when I'm there."

Dr. Harmon hesitated for a moment, then nodded, "Alright. The kitchen is down the hall to the left. Vivian or Moira can show you where everything is."

My face went blank, "I haven't met Violet's mother."

Dr. Harmon laughed, "You look terrified Tate. Trust me; she's going to be grateful to meet you. You saved her life."

I smiled, "Thank you Dr. Harmon, for everything." I pulled open the door to leave when he stopped me again.

"Tate," I stopped to look at him, "You can call me Ben," he winked, and I smiled in return as I left the office.

I glanced up from the book in my hands as I heard the door to my room open. My mom had gone down a while ago to make me some food. It had taken her fucking long enough.

But when the door was finally ajar, it was Tate behind it, not my mother. I didn't say anything and he didn't speak. I still didn't know what to make of what had happened tomorrow. As far as I was concerned Tate's disappearing act was bullshit, and he needed to explain himself.

Tate pushed the door open coming through, a cup of something in his hand and a plate with a sandwich and a bunch of vegetables on it in the other. He came over to the bed, sitting on the end and passing me the cup, placing the plate in front of me. I took the cup and looked into it still not speaking.

"Talk to me, Vi," Tate spoke softly. I didn't know what to say. I was pissed at him and I couldn't exactly blow up on him with both my parents downstairs. How the hell had he gotten this food anyway?

"Where'd you get the food?"

"From you kitchen," he had a faint smile, but it wasn't entitled like so many of his were, it was just soft.

"Bullshit, Tate. Where'd you get it?" There was no fucking way he'd gotten past my mom, ghost or not.

"No, Vi. I'm serious. I just met your mom," He didn't say it as if it were part of his having gotten the food but more so as if he was trying to change the subject.

"You what?" I demanded. Since when was he planning on doing that. Sure he knew my dad but we didn't go around telling him we were dating.

"Yeah. Your dad knows we're dating, and he's not mad Vi. I asked him If I could bring you some tea and that's when I met your mom."

"What the hell Tate!" I yelled at him. Why was he suddenly outing us to my parents.

"What's wrong?" he asked, taken aback by my anger.

I couldn't believe him, "Come on! You were already getting all buddy buddy with my dad, and now suddenly my parents know all about us. Since when did you need his approval to see me. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Why is this a big deal, Vi? I was thinking that we wouldn't have to hide in here all the time, or the basement, or the attic. Is it so wrong that I told my therapist about the girl I love. I was lost this morning Violet! He helped me!"

"But he'd not just your therapist, he's my dad! Do you know how screwed I'm gonna be? My mom saw the sheets with the blood. She may be a whiny moron sometimes but she'll be able to put two and two together!"

"Come on, Vi," Tate lifted his hand towards my cheek, but I flinched away.

The liquid in the cup slashed out, searing on my skin, "Fuck!"

Violet cried out as the hot tea hit her skin. It was already turning red. _Damn it_. I looked around and reached for a towel hanging off the end of her bed. I wrapped it around her arm, using the slack to try to pat the sheets dry.

I leaned my hand on the mattress to support me as I tried to lean further onto the bed. I felt a sticky liquid sponge up onto my hand as it sank into the sheets. At first I thought it was just the tea, but when I looked at my hand, my palm was red.

_Blood_. The voices in my head told me. I looked down at where my hands had been. There was a bright red smear there. I looked at Violet who was still nursing her arm. I pressed two fingers to the red streak and felt the liquid smear the tips.

"Vi, there's fresh blood on your sheets."

**Thanks for reading! Please Review! 15 Reviews for the next chapter. 20 and I'll make it a Lemon**


	4. Stitches

She didn't speak as she looked down at the blood among her sheets. I looked her over. She shouldn't be bleeding anymore, not so long after. Then I saw it. In her frantic movement to spell the burn on her arm, the comforter had fallen away from her waist to expose her thigh where her overly large tee-shirt didn't cover.

There on her thigh was a telltale thin red line. I felt the anger boil in me the way it had this morning, although it wasn't at myself this time.

"You promised me, Vi," I growled, running my blood tipped finger along the cut.

"What are you talking about," She snapped reflexively.

"Don't play stupid, Vi. Your smarter than that," I bored my slitted eyes into hers, "You promised me. You promised you wouldn't cut anymore. Last night, you told me again last night. I thought you understood."

She seemed to just notice the cut on her thigh, my finger still resting against it, "Tate, I-I didn't," She looked up at me with that blank expression that always had more of a story behind it than it showed, her voice that same toneless one she had when she was caught off guard, "I swear. I don't even have a blade Tate. You took my last one."

Being reminded, I shoved my hand into my pocket. I could still feel it there, clean, smooth, sharp. I pulled it out, clenching it in my fist until I could feel it break the skin of my palm. I felt a sudden pull, a sort of fascination, to that cut as I felt the warm blood fill my hand. I clenched the blade tight between my thumb and side of my pointer as it started to drip down my arm. In a split second I had it against her soft white skin, dragging alongside the other slit.

There was something about that blood blooming, red on the smooth cream of her thigh, bleeding into the pure white of her sheets. It seemed so crisp, so defined, red on white, one clean line on her skin, the blood pooling into a single drop that would gain weight and roll, glistening, down that smooth skin.

"What the fuck Tate!" Violet's voice broke my reverie. I looked up to meet her eyes. She grasped my arm, pulling it open and wrapping the towel around the gash in my palm. The blade fell, making a small red smear against the white sheets. I looked at her thigh again. The cuts were gone. The blood on the sheets had disappeared.

I looked up to meet her eyes again, "What just happened, Vi?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

.

The cut in his palm was deep. I fi didn't already know he couldn't go I would have insisted on taking him to the emergency room. How did ghosts heal anyway? I'd never seen Tate get hurt before. The next time I saw him would the cut just be gone?

For now I took him downstairs, trying to avoid my mom because she would make a scene of taking Tate to the hospital. I was able to find Moira cleaning my father's office. She found a first aid kit that was kept in the down stairs bathroom and brought it into the office to fix up Tate's hand.

"You're really good at that," I said softly as I watched her guide a needle with some sort of medical grade thread through the calloused skin on his palm. There wasn't any more blood but there was something that bordered on making me sick about watching the thread slowly pull the gash in his hand back together.

"I took first aid at the local community college when I was younger," Moira explained in her sweet old lady voice. That voice grated on me ever since I'd seen her straddling my dad's lap in this office. When I first met her I thought she'd seemed nice, but I didn't have the patience for another sick woman trying to destroy our family.

"So how does this work? Will I have to get them taken out?" Tate asked. He seemed his normal nonchalant self now. I still didn't understand what had happened up in the bedroom. One minute he was cleaning up the spilled tea and the next he had pulled my blade from his pocket and was gripping it so tight, blood was rolling down his arm.

"They'll dissolve on their own," Moira's voice pulled me from my memory just as she was clipping off the end of the thread, "But you should let me look at it after your next session with Dr. Harmon.

"I don't have another session, but I'll talk to you the next time I'm in the house," Tate said, closing his palm and seemingly testing the limits of the stitches.

Moira packed up the kit and left the office so that Tate and violet were left alone in the dim light of one of ben's desk lamps.

"You're not seeing my dad anymore?" I asked, leaning against the desk.

Tate looked at me, stilling, and his hand still half clenched, "It was part of our deal. If I wanted to be with you, he couldn't see me anymore."

"That's crap," I said, looking at him. Sure I wasn't thrilled about my mom knowing that there could be a boy in house at any time, but at the same time I felt sorry for what he had given up so that we might not have to spend all our time in the poles of this house.

Tate shrugged, grabbing one of my hands where they rested now that I'd hoisted myself up to sit on the desk, "It's not so bad. He said I could still talk to him. Besides, I'd much rather be able to see you," He reached up to stroke the hair away from my face. Part of me still wanted to be mad at him but I couldn't quite remember for what when I was wrapped in the warm color of his eyes, "You're the better place, Violet. You'll always be my better place."

The words hung between us for a moment before I launched myself forward, taking his face between my hands. This kiss felt so strange after all of the rough forceful ones from last night. I wanted that back. I wanted his darker side to take over, like the night on the beach, like last night. I wanted his playful side, the one that gave me an adrenaline rush and put me on the edge of fear just to taunt me with the fact that he could. My burned hand ached as I knotted it in his hair trying to make that side of him come out. I slid my tongue seductively over his lip begging that Tate to come out and play.

**I know it's a little short, but you guys didn't quite earn it yet. (; 15 reviews, that's all it takes**

**(Total will be 56 if goal is reached)**

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	5. Please Read

** Author's Note:**

** First of all, I promise I will post a real chapter by the end of the day.**

** I just wanted to apologize to anyone who felt insulted, or put off by my request for reviews. I know that you guys read my story and I'm thankful for all of the support I get from you guys. This is one of my favorite stories to write, and its been one of my most favored by readers, so thank you for that. I don't want you to feel like I'm 'begging for reviews' because I need approval, because I would probably still post anyway. I ask for reviews more for your guys benefit because I know that it'll help to ensure that I keep up with the story when I go back to school. I don't like it when I leave something unfinished, and looking back on reviews that make me smile or laugh always helps me get in a writing mood again.**

** So again I'm sorry if I offended or annoyed anyone and I hope you guys will keep reading!**

**Sincerely, Caithrine**


	6. A Bet

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry about not posting Wednesday! I was gonna write it after I watched the episode, and then I watched it and… well I guess most of you can guess that state I was in. But it's done now, so enjoy (;**

_This kiss felt so strange after all of the rough forceful ones from last night. I wanted that back. I wanted his darker side to take over, like the night on the beach, like last night. I wanted his playful side, the one that gave me an adrenaline rush and put me on the edge of fear just to taunt me with the fact that he could. My burned hand ached as I knotted it in his hair trying to make that side of him come out. I slid my tongue seductively over his lip begging that Tate to come out and play._

Tate pulled away stopping me, gripping my wrists, hands still entwined in his hair.

"Vi, I don't want to hurt you again,' He said, placing my hands by my sides and walking towards the couches.

I got of the desk and followed him, "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Don't lie to me, Violet. I was there this morning. You stayed home from school," His eyes had grown darker, like he was angry at something. Not at me, more like they were filled with self-loathing.

"Tate, why are you acting like this?" I demanded.

He ran his hand through his shaggy blond hair, sighing. I wished he'd stop stalling. Standing with him in my dad's office, being in the place where I knew he'd told the stories of all the things he wanted to do to me, was making me really horny, "I promised I wouldn't let anybody or anything hurt you, Vi."

"Bullshit. I'm about to throw myself at you. Whatever idiotic thoughts you had about hurting me last night obviously didn't matter. So get your balls back and get over it," I fisted the front of his shirt and kissed him again. He grabbed my wrist and I could have sworn he was going to push me away again, but he didn't. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes with that devilish look of determination.

"I'll make you a bet," He chuckled darkly and I could see his eyes start to change. Tate's darker side was out to play. "I bet I can make you cum without even touching you there."

His hand brushed low on my stomach but not low enough. I wanted to call him on his bullshit but for a second I almost believed he could do it. If anyone could, it was Tate with his chiseled muscles and his devious brown eyes.

"And if you win?" I breathed.

He chuckled, "Then I'll have gotten what I wanted."

"And if you don't?" I challenged.

"I'll show you what I _really_ fantasize about when I'm in your father's office," His breath tickled my earlobe. I was already getting wet. "Sit down," He order and I followed his instructions, "Close your eyes," Tate told me as he stood in front of me. He stroked a finger down my cheek, tracing it down my neck.

"You have no idea how sexy you look right now, Violet. Set out for me in just your tee-shirt and your panties," I hadn't even realized I'd forgotten to put pants on before I'd come downstairs with Tate. Damn, I was making this easy for him.

"Can you imagine it Vi? How I'd run my hands down your sides, slowly against the rough cotton of your tee-shirt? How my warm breath would feel against your neck? My lips so close to touching the soft skin there," I could feel Tate's presence near me, but I couldn't tell wher he was with my eyes closed. Then I felt it, his thumb against the side of my neck, wet with his saliva as it ran from the base up behind my ear. I tilted my head to the side, making the area more available to him, "How I'd lick slowly up your neck, tasting your sweat on my tongue as your breath picked up."

I took in a deep breath, letting it out shakily. "Back to my hands, squeezing your soft waist, so warm under my hands in that soft dip just above your hip bone. I finger the hem of your tee shirt, teasing you, before I slide one hand slowly, so slowly underneath it," I can almost remember the pressure of his hands on my skin as if it were there again. Tate placed a hand on my shoulder, rubbing soft wide circles in the back of my neck with his thumb, "I would reach the edge of your bra, brushing my fingers along the underside of it, debating with myself on whether or not to take it off now. I'd decide to wait, opting just to slide my hand underneath as I suck on your neck again," Tate's ministrations on my neck become smaller, more concentrated on one sweet spot. I couldn't decide if it tickled or burned, but it was delicious.

"I would roll those sweet little peaks between my fingers, palming the soft pliable flesh when I'd stop to breath," subconsciously, I reached up to place my palm over my breasts through the tee shirt, "Stop." Tate demands instantly, and my hand falls in shock, "You wouldn't want to make this easy for me, would you?" He's by my ear now, breath brushing skin.

"I would squeeze and pull those sweet little nubs until they were red and hard. Then I would kiss you again as I drew patterns on your stomach," I felt the heat grow between my thighs. Just imagining his fingertip teasing my skin, never going w=quite low enough… I tried to withhold a sigh as I felt myself get wetter.

"I'm getting hard by now, impatient," Tate leaned down next to my other ear and whispered quietly, "You can take your shirt off now, Violet."

I wanted to throw it off, to feel the cool air hit my skin, but I took my time, tempting him, trying to torture him the way I knew he was manipulating me.

There was a new, more urgent growl in his voice when he spoke again, "I would unclasp your bra and throw it away. I'd have that cute little peak in my mouth before you could understand what happened," I felt a sharp pleasurable pang in my nipples as he spoke. How could he do this to me? With just his words?

"I would spend more time here than I did last night. I would take the time to suckle the other one in my hot mouth, leaving each one sore with pleasure before I licked slowly down your stomach," He shoved my legs apart and I could feel him crouch between them. I had hope that maybe he would touch me. That he would stop his game and take me. I could feel his breath, hot against my stomach.

"I would stop of course at that special place just below your belly button. That place that's so close yet so far away. I would suck on the skin there until I could smell your hot arousal, begging me to lick it up. Like you are now. You smell so sweet Vi." His breath was concentrated so close, just above the waist of my panties. I was certain there was a visible wet spot on them when Tate chuckled. Then finally he hooked a finger in the waistband of them and pulled them slowly down my legs.

"You're dripping, Vi. God how sweet that is to see. Do you know, Violet? Dow you know how much I was to lap up your sweet juices? How I want to wrap my tongue around your sweet little nub and make you scream," I couldn't hold back to moan that had been building in my throat, "That's right, Vi, let it out. Imagine me pushing my hot tongue inside your tight hole. How does it feel thirst deep in your cunt," My head lolled back against the seat. I could almost hear the sound of my arousal dripping against the wood in the pause between Tate's words. I shifted my hips ever so slightly, slowly, hoping he wouldn't notice, but still trying to get the friction I craved.

Then his hands were hard against my hips, "Ah, ah, ah, my sweet Violet. Then I would pull my tongue out of you and replace it with my middle finger. God how tight you'd feel. I don't know how I fit my cock in you. I'd pull it in and out slowly until your breath was jagged and uneven, then I' shove in another." I was aching now. I felt so empty. God something deep inside me felt so good, but it hurt, it felt… deprived.

"I'd push my fingers into you faster, rougher as your breath hitched, and you'd moan like I know your trying so hard not to right now. Then I'd thrust in a third, god how far I'd be stretching you. Fuck Violet."

I couldn't stop myself from moaning now. I was going crazy. That pleasurable empty ache was taking me over, "Tate, touch me."

"I'd trust them into you harder and harder, knuckle deep into that red little cunt of yours," he completely ignored my request going on with his story. I could feel it now, balling up in me. My stomach winding tight, "I'd push my fingers in hard, and then force them in so deep you couldn't fathom them getting that far. Then, with my fingers pushed deep in your pussy as far as they could go, I'd add a fourth," that was it. I felt a fire burn in my stomach and then I could feel it hot and thick. Not exploding like it usually would with my hand buried in my folds or like it had around Tate's cock, but slow, like lava flowing down the side of a mountain. I could feel my cum flowing slowly down the walls of my cavern and I bit my lip so hard it should have bled.

Tate chuckled his dark laugh ad he mouth was by my ear again, "My sweet, sweet Violet. I win."


	7. Fantasies

**A/N: Think of the chapter as a Thanksgiving gift (; **

_Tate chuckled his dark laugh ad he mouth was by my ear again, "My sweet, sweet Violet. I win_. You can't imagine the things I'll tell your father tomorrow when I sit in that chair. He's not my psychiatrist anymore. It'll be so much easier to play with him."

Then my breath caught. Violet wrapped her hand around my cock through my jeans, making the rough fabric ache against my hard length, "Show me," she said softly, almost innocently. I wanted to give in.

"No," I growled, trying to convince myself as well. I could get away with going downstairs and jerking off if I could just get her to let go.

"Show me, make something to tell my dad that will really make him squirm," Violet's voice was dark now with her hatred for her father. I knew what she wanted from me. She wanted me to go into her father's office and make him relive his affair. Make him realize how disturbed it sounded with a girl almost as young as Violet. The darker part of me growled inside, the voices saying it; _Take her. Take. Her!_

"No," I was speaking more to the voices than her. They would not control my decisions.

Then I heard it, the buzz of my zipper being pulled down, and then the cold air in the office hit m growing dick. Fuck.

Her mouth was on me, hot and sweet, teasing the tip of my dick. I ground my teeth. I hadn't felt this in a long time. I couldn't even remember the last time some worthless bitch had given me a blow job, but this had to be so much better. I felt her wrap her lips around the head, taking it in full. I leaned over her to grip the back of the chair she'd been sitting in. I gripped it so hard I feared the leather would crack as she slid my length further into her mouth.

She swirled her tongue around it driving me crazy. Then without warning she shoved my cock into her mouth as far as it would go. I could feel my tip pressed against the back wall of her throat. God it felt so hot. She started to bob up and down on my cock and I finally opened my eyes to watch her. Damn it. I couldn't stop the images from flowing into my head as I watched her on her knees before me. Everything I'd ever imagined about her in this office overwhelmed my brain. I was coming close.

I gripped her by her arm and pulled her up, stopping her before she could make me cum, "Do want to see what I really think about doing to you in this office," She nodded, without saying a word. I kissed her roughly, walking her backwards until we reached the bookshelves behind Dr. Harmon's desk. I shoved her up against it so hard some of the books tumbled from the shelves.

I held her there, my hand on her hips pressing them into the bindings of all the clinical studies books I didn't give a shit about. I began to kiss down her neck, her chest, leaving her bra alone, too impatient to play with the less important things. I traveled lower, lower, stopping only for a second to marvel at the mark of my teeth on her hip. Her panties were already on the ground and the remnants of her cum still coated her hot folds.

I dragged my tongue slowly along them, just on the surface. This was exactly how I wanted it. Her pressed up against these shelves, legs spread wide giving me the most beautiful view of her little pussy. I remembered the visions of me ravishing that flesh. I wanted to make her legs give out.

I did exactly what I'd told her earlier, taking her little nub in my mouth and pulling on it between my tongue and my lips.

"Fuck, Tate," she growled. _That's it_ I thought _Say my name until you fall apart. Beg me to fuck you._

I twisted her clit between my teeth, then dragged my rough tongue against it over and over again until my name was on her every breath. Then I shoved my tongue inside her little hole. I could taste it, her cum still lining the walls mixed with her sweet arousal. She tasted like candy.

That was it. Her legs gave out as she screamed my name. I caught her before her knees could hit the floor, causing bruises.

"God, Tate," she breathed.

I chuckled, "I'm nowhere near done, Vi. This is only where the fantasy begins." I Hoisted her back up, standing with her, "Lean over your father's desk," I told her. There was a second of wide eyed surprise but she did as I'd asked. I finally pushed off my pants all the way, and threw off my shirt. I used my knee to shove her legs further apart. Fuck, it was even more beautiful in real life, to have her splayed on her father's desk like this. It was the epitome of what I thought about when I was alone at night. I stroked my cock lightly as I stood behind her, before placing my tip at the entrance to her tight cunt. I pushed it in only the slightest bit, not even enough to cover the tip and then pulled back out.

Violet whimpered underneath me.

"Tell me what you want, Violet."

"Fuck me," she said softly.

I chuckled darkly, looking at her tense as her arousal began to literally run down her thigh, "I can't hear you."

"Fuck me," she said a little louder.

"I still can't hear you, Violet," I taunted her.

"God damn it, Tate! FUCK ME!" I slammed into her all the way. God there was no way my hand on my cock compared to this when I imagined it on my own. Nothing could compare to this, having my deepest fantasy played out before me. Violet bent over her father's desk, with my dick buried balls deep inside her.

I started to thrust quickly. God I didn't think I could hold out long. With the mental build up to this moment and her pussy so damn tight, I wasn't going to be able to last long.

"Fuck, Tate," Vi growled, "Faster, shit… harder."

I couldn't deny her. I thrust into harder and faster. The sound of my thighs smacking into her ass echoed through the room. God, I wanted to see the look on Dr. Harmon's face if he knew what I was doing to his precious daughter in his office.

"Yes, yes… Fuck. I-I'm," Violet wasn't even coherent enough to get the words out but I knew what she was saying. I motor boated her so hard Dr. Harmon's desk shook and a pile of papers fell of before I felt her spill around me.


	8. Ladies of the House

**2 Days Later**

Vivien was gone. I'd held Violet through most of the night as she cried about how it was her fault, but I knew it wasn't. It was mine. I'd helped to send her away for my own selfish reasons. Because I wasn't willing to lose Violet. She was the one person who made me believe I could be better. I was tired of hurting people.

Now I sat alone once again in the basement. Violet had fallen asleep on my lap a little over an hour ago and I left her alone to get some real sleep. I knew it had been awhile since she had.

"Well isn't it Little Boy Blue. You gonna cry now?"

God, her voice grated on my nerves. The bitch deserved to be dead, but I wished someone had killed her off the property.

"What is with you and half ass literary references?" I asked. If she was going to try to mock me with random bouts of poetry, she could at least get them right.

She glared at me like some immature kid who had been called on their bullshit, "Screw you. You got what you wanted. Vivian's gone and now you can have your little nightingale all to yourself."

"Hardly. _You_ got what you wanted. All I did was hurt more people I care about," I didn't look at Hayden as she spoke. I was tired of her interrupting me when I was trying to think. I wished I could kill her again and make it stick.

"Like the bitch's daughter? _Come_ on. She'll thank you. She knew her mother was pathetic. She'll be glad to have one sad excuse for a parent out of the way. Just one to go now," Hayden laughed out loud like she'd found something extremely funny about what she'd said. I didn't get the joke, "I heard you fucking her the other night, in his office. I wish I could have seen that. You know I had dreams about that once? Being bent over Ben's desk while he slammed his-"

"Shut. Up." I snapped, "You don't know anything about her."

"Ha! I think I know enough. I've seen her at night too, when her hand slips into her pants. I can see why you get off on that. I'd tap that if she wasn't such a depressing bi-"

"I said Shut. Up!" I fisted her lame 'designer' sweater and pushed her against the wall, "Don't talk about Violet, don't think about Violet, and remember, I can see you even when she can't so stay the hell away from her."

Hayden laughed again, "You really have lost your balls since she moved in. What happened to the Tate people talk about. The killer. The one who would do anything to get sweet little Nora her baby. What are you going to do now? Knock up your little girlfriend?"

"Go away," I whispered darkly, and she disappeared, leaving my clenched fist empty.

I was sick of her words. Moira told me I needed to get over my compulsive need to please the ladies that came into the house, and I thought I had. The only woman I needed to please anymore was Violet.

.

I came into my office the morning after they had taken Vivian away. I wished that I could just clear my schedule, maybe get Violet to come out of her room and take her to do something that would make her feel better, but I had a full day of patients.

I went over to my desk to look for my tape recorder and a patient file. When I got there I realized a large stack of folders was splayed on the floor in front of my desk. I started to walk around my desk to pick them up when my shoe made a squishing sound. I looked down and realized that I had stepped in some kind of white goo, the toe of my shoe was covered in it. I looked back to see that there was a small puddle of it in front of my desk. _What was that?_

"Hey Dr. Harmon."

My head snapped up in surprise to see Tate leaning in the doorway to my office.

"Oh Tate," I breathed, my hand against my chest, "You scared me."

"Violet just fell asleep again. She's been having a hard time," Tate told me. He looked so… normal. Standing there, with concern in his voice.

"Have you been here all night?" I asked.

"Yeah, she called me after they took Mrs. Harmon. I hope that's okay."

A few days ago I would have felt on edge. I would have flipped out the moment he'd shown up, but right now I found myself almost thankful that he was there to make sure Violet was okay.

"Tate, do you know if Violet was in my office?"

Tate's gaze dropped down to the folders on the floor, "Yeah, sorry about that Dr. Harmon. Violet and I should have cleaned up after we," Tate coughed, "I can go find Moira."

"Tate, what were you doing in my office?" I figured I had a pretty good guess. I didn't want to think about it though. God I didn't need to worry about giving my daughter a sex talk when I'd just shipped my wife off to a mental institution.

"You already know," Tate winked, "I've told you about it before." With that Tate shrugged off the door frame and walked away.

I clenched my jaw. I didn't need to think about Tate fulfilling his fantasies with my daughter. Right now I just needed to get through another day in this god forsaken house.


	9. Expressionless

_**This chapter is dedicated to Tinkerbelldetention101 and her son. **_

"Vi," I said softly as I eased open her door, "Are you awake."

I peeked my head in to see violet sitting cross legged on her bed with a book in hand. She looked up at me but didn't speak. He expected her expression to say 'What the hell do you think?' but it was blank.

"How long have you been up?" I asked coming into her room.

"A few hours."

"Have you eaten anything?" I asked. I was concerned with the newest development in this house that her depression would worsen.

"Dad-" she began, protest in her voice.

I put my hands up in surrender. I wanted to make all of this easy for her right now. I came to sit on the edge of her bed, turned slightly to face her, "How are you holding up."

"I'm fine," she replied in that short, flat tone.

"Come on, Vi. I know your Mom leaving is hard. You can talk to me about it," I encouraged her. So much had happened to her lately that wasn't hers to deal with, and I knew it had to be wearing on her. No normal person could go through what she had in the past months and not have something tearing at them.

She shook her head infinitesimally, her face expressionless, mouth in a small o, "I'm… fine."

"Vi, Tate told me you've been sleeping, or crying, almost all day. I thi-"

"You talked to Tate?" She sounded surprised.

"He passed by my office this morning after he left you. He was with you this morning, right?" Suddenly I wasn't so sure Tate had told the truth. He had the oddest habit of just popping up. I never heard the doorbell ring before he showed up for his appointments, and I never heard the door shut when he should have left.

"Yeah…" She sounded skeptical of my suspicion, leaning away ever so slightly, some life finally coming into her eyes as she tried to analyze the question.

"Speaking of Tate-"

"Oh shit," the 'oh' was drawn out and she sort of rolled her head in a kind of 'not this again' gesture, "What are you going to try to say about him this time. And you better be careful because I know you already told him, you were fine with it."

"I'm not going to try to tell you you can't be with him, Vi. It wouldn't work anyway. Obviously." I tried to crack a halfhearted smile but she just glared it me in this half-expressionless way of unamusement. It was strange how often she was 'expressionless' lately. I took a deep breath, "Are you sleeping with him, Violet?"

"Oh my god!"

"Now, Violet-" I put my hands up,

"We're not seriously about to have this conversation," I looked at her earnestly, trying to express though my eyes that we needed to have this conversation, "Fuck."

"Vi, I just want to know that you've taken everything into consideration, some of Tate's… delusions are a little extreme, an-"

"Trust me Dad, I know about Tate's "delusions"," she made little air quotes around the word.

I sighed. I knew she would either reject me or attack me on this. Truth was if I could have talked her out of sleeping with him altogether, that would be great, especially considering the things I'd heard him describe in my office. But I knew that was impossible. Violet was too strong set and stubborn, she always had been, "Just… tell me the two of you are being… safe."

"God, I may be a teenager, but I'm not a fucking idiot."

I hadn't thought about it until after I heard Dr. Harmon ask Violet about using protection in her room.

I'd gotten Violet's mom pregnant. It didn't matter…what I was. It was still a danger. And Violet and I hadn't even thought about protection. I guess it just slipped her mind, but for a second I had let it slip my mind that it was even necessary. Why the hell should it be? I'm a fucking ghost. This shit was messed up.

"Vi," I spoke quietly, popping into her room as soon as her father left. She sat up a little straighter and for a second I thought I might have managed to startle her.

"Tate," she sighed. She got up from the bed and came over to hug me. I held her tight, squeezing my eyes closed. I lived for these moments. The simple sweet ones where I could just hold her. But they hurt. It hurt to know that she was living and I wasn't and I could never leave tis god forsaken house.

"Hey," I said comfortingly, pulling away to look at her face, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just pissed off," she wrapped her arms around herself as is she was cold, but I'd come to learn it meant she was protecting herself. She was afraid of something. Something I couldn't protect her from because I didn't know what it was.

"Well, I'm here now," I would always be here. Forever.

Violet gave me a weak smile and went back to her bed, crawling onto it and sitting cross legged on it. I came to join her sitting with one leg dangling off the side. I looked down. I knew I needed to say it, but I didn't want to. I wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, nothing had happened. But I knew well enough, _it only takes once_.

"Vi," My head snapped up, and she looked into my eyes, just questioning, so normal, so natural, just curious, "If I asked you to do something for me, would you? Even if it was crazy," She just raised her eyebrows, waiting for my request. I took her hand and started playing with her fingers, looking down again, "Would you take a… pregnancy test."

I expected her to flip out on me, but she didn't. The calmness in the room didn't change.

Then Violet laughed, just a small laugh, "Tate we don't have to worry about that. I mean your-" she choked off suddenly, and my head snapped up. Could she know? She couldn't. She wouldn't have stayed…

"You know? That I'm…" I was half in shock. This couldn't be happening. This would change everything.

"You know?" She sounded shocked.

It was my turn to laugh, "That I'm… dead? Its not that hard to figure out after 17 years, Vi."

"But Constance said…" Violet trailed off, trying to put the facts in order. Obviously she had been told something other than the truth.

"You talked to my mother about me?" I felt anger flare in me at the thought of that bitch.

"She said that you were naïve. That you didn't know." She was back to that drawn expressionless look she often had.

"My mother's a cocksucker." I said assertively.

"Do you remember how you died… why?" Something in her voice told me she already knew the answer, but I didn't. I'd never been able to remember when or why or how I'd died. I just knew I was. It just made sense, watching my mother move out of the house, but I couldn't, not that it bothered me. Unitl I was left alone, unaging and disturbed.

"No," I felt my face fall. I hated that I didn't know, "I don't remember at all." We were both lost in silence for a moment but then I remembered. I had to know. It was important, "But, Vi. Listen to me, you still have to take the test please. You have to do it, Vi."

"Why?" she asked, quietly, emotionlessly.

"Because I can still get you pregnant," my voice sounded breathy and frantic. I couldn't really explain it to her. I couldn't give her something to make her believe, "Please, Vi. Just… please."

**Please Review!**


	10. Nightingale

**A/N: Based off of scenes in the Promo for tomorrow's episode "Spooky Little Girl" **

I tossed the paper bag down on my bed at Tate's feet as he lounged on it, "I can't believe you're making me do this."

Tate sat up, reaching for my wrist over the end of the iron bed frame, "You have to, Vi." He said softly, stroking the scars on my wrist.

"How do you even know a ghost can get someone pregnant," I demanded, gesturing my head to the ceiling. The thought seemed absurd. Tate was dead. He wasn't even entirely _real_.

"'Cause I've seen it happen before, Vi." Tate looked me straight in the eye, his saturated with worry. I didn't want to debate it with him anymore. So I sighed in annoyance and took the bag off the bed, heading to the bathroom.

I locked myself inside, leaving Tate slouching on the wall outside the door. Honestly I thought this was a bunch of bullshit. We'd slept together twice. Big whoop. I wasn't pregnant. I wasn't even sure I believed Tate when he said it was possible.

My mind was stuck on something else as I pulled the test out of the box though. Tate knew. He'd always known he was dead. Constance's idea that he didn't seemed silly now. 17 years? Tate was smarter than that.

I crossed my arms on my chest as I set the soiled test on the counter., just staring at the little white strip at the end. I intended to stare at it for the next two minutes until the one little blue line showed up, so I could unlock the door get this stupid thing over with so Tate and I could go back to making out on the bed and make use of the more appealing items in the paper bag.

I pulled out the box of condoms and began reading it. Trojan Fire & Ice. Warm and Tingling sensations for both partners. I'd had no fucking idea what I was doing in that part of the store. I just took the first box the stupid acne prone sales kid shoved at me.

I tore off the top of the box and pulled out an accordion of little foil packets. I tore one off the line and fingered it in my hand, the rest set aside on the sink along with the box. I looked up at my reflection in the mirror, the little square there too the harsh bathroom light glinting off of the blue and purple package.

It seemed so strange to me. It felt like I wasn't the person in the mirror. That it couldn't be me holding up a condom, the box spilled over into the sink basin, a pregnancy test resting precariously on the corner. This is how I felt when I looked in the mirror when I was cutting. It wasn't me. I was somehow separated from that pain for a moment and the girl in the mirror with the slit on her wrist wasn't me.

And there it was, just barely visible in the reflection. A single blue line on the white strip.

I grabbed the test and burst back out the door, holding it up. Tate stood immediately from his resting place against the wall, glancing between me and the test.

"Negative. Happy?" I asked.

Tate took the test from me and stared at it almost like he didn't believe it, before he looked at me, "The tests aren't always right. Just do one more. I know you have one."

"Bullshit, Tate!" I snapped. I'd done it, at his ridiculous request, and I wasn't going to go in that damn bathroom and do it all over again, "Its negative. The end, sayonara, no more questions asked."

"I'm worried about you, Vi," Tate stepped in assertively, standing up all the way so that I had to actually tilt my head back to look at him with how close he was.

This was really pissing me off, "Bull crap! There's something else going on her, Tate. And you're gonna tell me."

"I'm trying to protect you, Violet. I can't do that when you're so god damn stubborn."

Screw him! I didn't need his damn protection! And if whatever he was protecting me from was so damn important, he could fucking tell me.

The condom was crumpled in my balled up fist, and I flicked it in his face, "Fuck you," I shoved past him towards my bedroom, "You're sleeping in the attic."

I watched Violet go and heard the door slam before I moved. I threw down the stupid pregnancy test and stomped my foot childishly, "_Shit_!"

I ran and stomped down the stairs the way I had the day Violet's father kicked me out of her room, angry tears threatening to burst forth in my eyes, until I was in the basement, the head bowed to the wall as my forearms supported me.

"What did you do this time?" A mocking voice came from somewhere in the darkness of the basement. I paid it no mind. Hayden could fuck off. She wasn't worth the attention she whored around for, "Awe, did you piss of your wittle nightingale. ' _Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well_.'"

"Shut up," I demanded lowly, trying to stay calm and not do something I could regret.

"'Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!'" She continued on, the lines out of order.

"Shut Up!" I yelled, banging my fist against the brick wall. I could feel it scrape. There would be blood. I felt like I was yelling at the voices in my head again, but Hayden was very real.

"'As she is famed to do, _deceiving_ elf."

"I didn't deceive her!" I yelled at Hayden, tipping my head in her general direction, but not looking at her. I hated this. I wanted the bitch to disappear, but I wouldn't speak the words. Because something in me told me she was right.

"Oh no? How long did she go before she found out she was dating a dead mass murder?" Hayden shoved herself in my face, pushing on my shoulder to make me face her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," My voice sounded weaker. I was scared. I didn't know anything about my death. I didn't want to.

"Bullshit. You know deep down, and it's all you can think about. That and how you knocked Vivien up with your demon child. Do you realize what you've done? What you've done?" Hayden's voice echoed around me and I was becoming dizzy.

Then the voice changed, "Do you realize what you've done?" Now it was my mother shoving my against the wall and tears spilled down my face. I was afraid of her. I just wanted all this to go away. The vision shook around me before it fell into some normality.

Her hands were on my cheeks, eyes searching mine, "Tell me it isn't true."

"What," I asked, my voice lifeless, as if the emotion I wanted to be there was bleached out, because it was me there but I couldn't control it, this body, these words.

"Vivien. The babies. Tell me they're not yours," My mother spoke in fake desperation.

"What do you care?" I asked, the vision waivered again, "Do you- Do you are?"

Her hands were in my shirt now, the tears on my cheeks again, "Do you have any idea the demon you've created? It'll take us all down, and this god forsaken house with it."

She was pushing me against the wall now and I couldn't do anything. I was terrified.

"Do you realize what you've done?" She snapped at me.

"Go away," I squeaked, the tears thick in my throat, "Leave me alone."

"Wh-what you've, you realize wh-, Do you realize what you've done? What you've done? Done…"

It was Hayden's voice again, and I was back in the basement, slumped against the cold stone wall. Hayden's voice echoed with the words, but she was gone.


	11. Plus

**PLEASE READ! Instead of giving reviews this time, ask me questions. Questions about me, the story, my writing, anything. And I'll make a little video for your guys answering them and maybe even throw in a spoiler about the story. Enjoy! **

She was here. Constance had shown up only minutes after my vision, beating me to the ground against the wall. It scared me how similar it was to my vision. And I was again slumped against the brick wall crying, now with my mother standing over me.

"Mama, mama, please. Please," It was all I could say all I could think. God, please don't let her tell Violet. My Violet… "Mama, you can't tell her, you can't."

"You cheated on that sweet girl with her mother. You got her pregnant." Her voice was harsh and uncaring, scolding me into submission the way she always had.

The tears were thick on my face, "No, no," my voice was unsteady and I just kept shaking my head, "No. I didn't know Violet yet. I didn't, no… Mama, you can't."

"Boy you got yourself in a deep mess, and I can't get you out this time. What are you gonna tell Violet when Mrs. Harmon comes home with your child?"

"I love her. Violet, I love her. Vi, my Violet…" It was all I could think about. Everything was crumbing around me. I needed Violet to keep me sane. I needed help. I couldn't fix this.

"She's not yours, child. She can never be yours. She's _alive_ Tate. She will leave this house and you will have _nothing_," she growled with her southern accent.

"No, no…" I could barely speak anymore. I just wanted Violet, to be in her bed with her arms wrapped around me. I wanted to sleep. Violet, my Violet…

"You're gonna get yourself out of this mess, boy. Mama can't help you now," Her voice was harsh and cold. She applied another hard smack to the back of my head before walking out.

I bowed my head into my knees, twining my fingers in my hair to nurse the warm spreading pain in my head. I could hear my sobs echo against the stone walls…

"Violet."

My head snapped up to see Tate standing at the foot of my bed. His face was drawn and his eyes were red, his cheeks glistening with fresh tears. He looked worse than the day he had told me he loved me.

I hadn't stayed pissed at him for long. The whole thing was bullshit. I wouldn't have freaked out if he was alive. I probably would have agreed that the precaution was necessary. I didn't need to be an even bigger high school fuck up by getting pregnant.

I didn't say anything to him as he stood there though. His chest was rising and falling raggedly with fresh sobs and I could see the light glint off of a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Violet," He sighed, an edge of relief in his voice as I looked at him, "Vi, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

I was confused. Why would he be so upset? "Its not a big deal Tate."

"No, no, Vi, you don't understand," He'd walked around to the side of my bed when he was apologizing and he took my arm frantically, "Vi you have to listen to me. I've done something," He paused a moment, seeming to swallow back tears, "Something bad."

My emotions were frozen in place. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't upset. I didn't know what I'd felt, "What happened?" My voice sounded lifeless.

"I can't protect you, Vi. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just please… You have to understand. Violet I love you. I love you."

"Tate, what did you do?" I demanded. I'd never seen him this vulnerable. He seemed like a small child, terrified by a father they fears will beat them. Fear was stricken in Tate Langdon's eyes.

"I can't, Vi. I-I can't…"

I pulled him into my arms, and felt him burry his soaked face into the junction between my neck and shoulder. I pulled him onto the bed and we lay down like that with his head on my shoulder. The room fell silent save for his gentle sobs.

I stood in the bathroom, once again in front of the mirror with the feeling that the girl staring back at me wasn't me.

I'd slipped out of the bed carefully, Tate sound asleep, his body no longer rocking with violent sobs. And now I was here, eyes ringed in red, modeling Tate's earlier state.

And there it was, reflecting back at me. It was so small, barely there at all but I felt as it it took over my whole field of vision. Just one little pink plus.

I threw it into the sink and shook another one out of the box quickly. I used it then paced frantically glancing at it every couple of seconds until there it was again. The little plus.

I ran down the hall to my mom's room, diving under the sink in her master bathroom and tearing through the cabinet until I found her stash of tests. I ran back to the bathroom and did them again and again until I could force myself to pee anymore, even after downing three full glasses of water.

I stared down at the tests piled in the sink, mocking me, 7 little pink pluses.

I gripped to the side of the sink as I sank to the floor, letting go with one as my knees hit the tile to run it through my hair. Tears were threatening in my eyes and I forced them back.

This couldn't be happening. I wasn't_ pregnant_. This wasn't real.

I woke to Violet shaking my shoulder, trying to jostle me into wakefulness. My eyes opened slowly, still sore from crying so much.

When I Violet finally came into focus my eyes shot wide. She was laying there in just a tank top and a thin pair of underwear, her legs rubbing together lightly and her hand rested next her on the pillow. Then I saw it. I little red line on her wrist. It was fresh, still bleeding just barely. I could feel the urge pooling at the sight. The glistening blood on her wrist mixed with her scant wardrobe. I knew it wouldn't be long before my pants felt tight.

But then something broke in me. She'd cut again. I took her wrist harshly, looking at the cut, "Violet, what did you do," she didn't answer and I looked up to bore my eyes into hers, "you promised me, Vi."

"I'm sorry, I just…" She trailed off and my eyes fell to her chest rising and falling, only barely covered by her tin top. I looked back up to her eyes then leaned forward and placed a kiss softly on her lips. I was home, finally. After so much shit, I was sane again for just a moment.

Violet wrapped her hands in the front of my sweater and pulled me down on top of her until she rested softly on the bed. I started kissing her neck and running my hand slowly up her soft thigh. This felt right, calm. This was simple. There was nothing complicated about being with Violet. I loved her and she loved me. My mind could be clear here, even as it was clouded by the longing of my growing erection.

I sucked on a soft spot on her neck just as I reached her underwear and wrapped the waist band around my finger. She let out a gratifying half-moan-half-sigh as I began to pull them down before I stopped again. "Vi, where are the condoms?" I whispered, resting my head against hers.

"We don't need them anymore," she breathed back, pulling me down to kiss her by the back of her neck. I pulled back again after only a second, searching her eyes.

"What do you mean, Vi?" she didn't answer, just took one hand from behind my neck and placed it on her stomach, "Violet, what do you mean?" I propped myself up on both arms so that I wasn't touching her anymore, just hovering. She still didn't talk, just got that blank expression where I couldn't tell if she was bored or scared, "Violet, you tell me." I gripped her arm hard, hard enough to bruise, holding her eyes in mine, now filled with fire.

"Tate," she snapped. I knew I was hurting her.

"You tell me. I don't like lies Violet. You won't like it if I have figure it out on my own," My patience was growing short with her, which was rare. In truth I was scared. Scared that I already knew the answer. That I'd screwed up more than I ever thought.


	12. Note

** Author's Note:**

**Hey, I know its been awhile since I posted and I'm really sorry for that. I've been having some major writers block for this show since it ended and am having trouble trying to figure out what to write. The next chapter is about half done, but a little spotty. I'll try to post as soon as possible and I'm sorry for keeping you guys on hold!**

**Sincerely, Caithrine**


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